Great Barrington

Absolutely packed days from 8AM to 9PM, orientation and preperations for Sunday. So totally exhausted. But I love being tired after a full day of work. :)

Had a wonderful chat with my new oral surgeon today, and what made me smile even more is that he reminds me of Father Bill who just left Siena : ( ...his stature, size, way of talking, and straight forward nature. Looks like I am going to be able to squeeze all my surgeries in this summer =)

I don't feel strange insisting on trying to walk to more places that I go...I miss city culture...but I also realize that walking to my sister's house via rt 32 is not the norm and ppl are probably looking at me strangely. Guess that's culture shock.

And my desires to feel the weather. Just shut off the AC. It's not that hot that it's necessary, only 80. A walk in the park compared to 100 shade in Sevilla. I like being connected to the temperature and seasons. Silly being cold inside int he AC in the summer (or spring, even worse).

The most obvious culture shock I expereined was on the plane watching Leap Year. Cristina's view that American movies have a lot of PRIDE in being American was made clear to me by seeing not even 15 minutes. Yes, you're right, tienes razon, too much so that I had to take my earplugs out. So shallow. I thought I would enjoy seeing the Irish country sides and a bit of their culture, since I had just visited, but the American view of other Ireland (and other countries in general) was absolutely riduculous. Did not do it justice. Very uninformed. That's why ppl can't believe the mass media and have to go and experience things for themselves! Shows an overly-independent, self-sufficient, ambitious American woman who thinks she can control everything. She finds herself in a foreign country and is angry when things do not go her way. Her frustration is evident and the movie more than suggests the "American way"is the best way to do things and "all those other countries" don't know what they're doing. Yet, she can milk the "hospitable and generous" reputation that is extremely vague. Also, she is depicted as being in danger in a pub with all older men....in reality, the ppl are so friendly and helpful.

What crap. What crap American movies are! all about shots that make the actresses look hot. Not about art. Can't take it..

hogar dulce hogar

This is it.

So it finally hit me when I woke up. My morning consists of getting ready to leave and leaving. No more spanish adventures as a college student. Me voy.

The truth about Valeriana, the green that makes you sleep.

Porqué no probé cereales con canela antes de esta mañana!? Tan rico! Y se necesita menos azúcar

Some more...of Ferrara

29 de mayo, 2010

Yes, The Kooks are still in my head, but for different reasons. All Jesse’s British friends and himself speaking with accents. “Do you want to go to the seaaasiiide?” What a wonderful mideval city, Ferrara! I am finally starting to feel physically better and eat meals and I leave in a few hours, qué pena! So much energy—I’ll use it for saying my goodbyes to los sevillanos..

Early impressions the U.K.

21 de mayo, 2010

“Do you want to see the world? Do you want to see the wooorrlldd?” Yes! I do…I daydreamed about my time abroad to this Kooks song in Hines 436 freshman year. Vicki, I miss you! Though I’m not in the London airport anymore, thank God, I feel waking up from my siesta to the kooks is still appropriate being in the U.K. T.V.s not working to check out the Irish accent, so the Kooks’ll keep me awake’til breakfast. Soo happy to be in a tea culture…had a giant cup of peppermint tea this madrugada in Stansted. Makes climactic sense though. The sun in the south of Spain doesn’t make hot tea very welcoming. On the contrary, I left Sevilla in tirantas (spaghetti straps) and by the time I got to Cork, I had another long sleeve short, a turtle neck and long rain jacket on, still a bit chilly. Why not warm up with some tea up here in Northern Europe? The smell of the air outside of London Stansted airport was very sweet. And outside of the small rural town of Cork was green, green, green, on either side of the runway…very humid smelling. Welcome to Ireland! Love the accents. Miss all the opportunities for eavesdropping on spanish conversations L. Sevilla I’ll be back for ya, my love!

To continue to process Spain, I need to leave. There are still some things I am unsure of..

I am afraid to go back to the U.S.

the juice of sweet, sweet Andalucía oranges.....whispers at 10 o'clock in the morning....a soft "hola" o "buenos" read on the lips...saw my host dad in his pjs for the first time ever....always dressed very nicely though retired....waiting for the sun to warm up the city before going out....

Endive

Endibia

Palabra recordado del día por mi señora...la bonita planta parecido a lechuga en nuestra ensalada :)

The last few days, I've been soo hungry!

I never thought it would come...the day that I actually felt hunger before eating. But alas, a miracle, I have had a crazy appetite lately and a stomach recovering enough to act on it. So last night, I walked a lot and came home for dinner. After enjoying the soup and brocolli, I asked for some cheese. "Oh COOURSE," mi señora replied, her voice filled with excitment and enthusiasm. She was SOO pleased. Another chance to do her job, feed. She pulled out pechuga de pavo también. Why not? Cuando estás en España And I cut myself a healthy slice of wheat AND white bread, bathing them in extra virgen olive oil. Tonight, yes. I'll have the turkey too. This is one of my last nights in Spain, AND I'M HUNGRY (most important detail) so I decided to really take advantage and savor the things I will not have at home. I cannot wait to control my own diet, but there are great things here too. Just sniffing the soft, fresh bread... And soaking up the olive oil in my mouth...then skin and hair. I really am getting to know how a familia sevillana eats and lives. That's what I wanted; an authentic spanish experience. And that's what I got. Muy fuerte a veces (demasiado), pero....está terminando ya, pue'...Very strong at times (too much so), but...it's coming to an end very soon, soo...

I am sniffing the roses alright....Nice tranquilo mornings with spanish television that won't be available to me very soon. But, I did just learn today that with the flat screen tv my mom and Deke bought, there are lots of spanish channels with HD! hoorrayy! And I'm pumped for my telenovelas latinoamericanos.

Another trip to the doc's this monday...

Had a nice walk to nervión....rode the caterpillar...Met this really friendly old lady in the waiting room...always an experience. Got to sniff the flowers too, soo sweet. But I'm dying to know what these gorgeously delicate purple flowers are that are litearlly popping up on trees all over Sevilla. Have any idea mom?

Theres just SO much happening here!

I can't keep up with all the excitment! And I don't know how to express it all....doing it justice. How to process it...

Les despedí a las en la guardería hoy

Adiós a la guardería...y todos allí. I left today with un montón de besos en mis mejillas (a whole lot of kisses on my cheeks), hugs and happy wishes for the future. They welcomed me very warmly at the kindergarten, and I walked out today--eager for lunch--but also smiling thinking of my family there. All the "Rocío"s and "María"s and "Mari Angeles"s. Nothing like pride in your barrio! I am happy to be done with my service there, since being around tens and twenties of screaming and yelling kids is not my idea of fun. However, I don't have regrets. I enjoyed being around the teachers and children there/soaking up the phrases, traditions, songs, stories...cutlure. Also, I have really been honest with myself--This is not for me. Something about being in a foreign country helped reinforce that. You don't have to pretend, they all know you don't belong! So you may as well be honest with yourself! Haha I dont like big groups of ppl in general--that has been reinforced, and there's nothing wrong with that. Usually I felt exhausted by all the energy there. When I was able to work with the three older children in a more intimate setting, I felt energized being able to connect with them. Nico, Patricia and Marta, all at different levels (and ages). Teaching them things and encourgaing them along was very exciting! Also learning from them. They taught me vocabulary/phrases and I taught them english...or colors, counting, math, animals , etc in their native tongue. And they are so affectionate! A phrase I remember vividly from being very young in school is, "Keep your hands to yourself!" None of that here. They do not restrict affection, but encourage touching and grooming. Such sweethearts!

121 pounds. This scale CANNOT be right. I weighed myself this morning and I cannot believe, with all this food, I have lost 6 pounds. Incredible. Al that walking, miles and miles per day! I suppose I really don't eat that much. And I feel a lot fatter than I really am being bloated all the time. But who knew? Pshh...shocker.

Second to last day at the guardería (kindergarten)

Mari Angeles brought me into her office and kindly explained to me that if I come dressed in tight pants or a short dress, that I should wear one of their robes they have there. "It's that some of the Papás don't like it...If it were Madrid or Barcelona, no pasa nada, but here in Sevilla...it's a little more..." Conservative. Traditional. Oye, my mistake, I should have not worn this dress today, but it's very tricky knowing how to dress for the weather here. When the only constant is change. She was very sweet and I apologized more than once; I wouldn't normally wear this to work with children. No pasa nada, no pasa nada.

However, very interesting that these same old men who don't want girls dressing a certain way around their children are in the streets piropu-ing at me and all the other young women in Spain. Guapaaaa!! Just today, some man commented on my legs en el puente de Triana.

Blue, for the color of my dress.

And I see now what Dr Michelle was talking to me about in Feb, saying if I tutored a child in english, I would get to meet a perhpas more traditional family than the one with which I live. My host dad seems pretttyy traditional... Not in this way...no pasa nada however we want to dress and if we want to go out late at night and not come home until the sun rises. They have had MANY American girls live with them. And they love hosting us.

But when he gets talking about women...those views of his are not so progressive, nor are his about immigrants or muslims, those "moros." Usually it's best to keep my mouth shut...he won't understand anyway, even if I spoke spanish perfectly. He is the voice of knowledge in the house and must always be right, so I just let it be. I don't like being silenced, but even more I don't like arguing with ppl who have strong opinions about topics and don't like to listen. So vale...Wonderful home to live in, not for discussing polemic topics...nobody can do it all.

6 years ago....

I keep my word. "Mind like a steel trap," I believe you said Gallo.

This just in!!! Gallo you're the best =) Darth Vader Moretto and me at CCHS (amazing how traveling brings ppl together)

I guess I never posted this after I typed it out...

“I am worried about going to Spain to learn Spanish because so many people there know english.” Retrospectively, I can say I had nothing to worry about. I assumed that the majority of people outside of the U.S. spoke more than one language with fluidity. And there are a lot of signs and songs in english here. But that doesn’t mean the people can speak english or hold a conversation. Muchos no tienen ganas de aprender inglés, o tiene vergüenza hablarlo. Thanks to globalization and marketing, english pops up all over here…but it has not prevented me from learning spanish, in the least. I think this is similar in any place you go now….Istanbul was like this, and Morocco a bit. English is the key. However, not everyone knows it. The Spanish are VERY proud of their ancient culture and really hang onto it.

Also very interesting to note how english brings people together...tourists united. From where ever ppl come, they go to see the sights and request things in english, whether it be their native language or not/whether they be in an english-speaking country or not. I was taken off guard in Istanbul while paying for my guided tour of Topkapi Palace. After having a conversation with the man who gives out the headphones, he then asks me, What language? Huh? I have just been talking to you, effortlessly, in english. What kind of question is that? English. Then the Thai couple behind me speak to the other man at the booth in english, with accents...Wait! It is a legit question. They want the tour in THEIR language. But they request for it in mine. I suppose it is a legitimate question, because when in Spain and conversing in Spanish, I expect to be asked that question, to which I will answer Spanish, even though I am obviously a giri and not from Sevilla.

Like the Japanese couple I overheard struggling to assert themselves in english to exchange money from yen to euros outside Brunschelli's Dome in Firenze, Italia. And doing so very proudly. Interesting how languages bring people together.

I love my families =)

The Use of the Past Participle in Spain: a Matter of Antiquity?

Studying the Spanish language isn't just studying one language. It's being sensitive to all the nuances within the country of Spain and across the 20 spanish-speaking countries. My english has been affected by my spanish acquisition. For one thing, I write more often using the past participle instead of the past tense. Which brings me to another point of reflection. Spaniards use haber + -ado/-ido for most events that occured today or a few days ago, and the preterite vs. the imperfect is reserved for matters of the long-term past. At first, funny-sounding, now I wonder about it's usage. There really is no right or wrong way to express oneself using language, just different flavors. So being in Spain, walking the streets full of history of the Spanish Inquisition, voyages to the New World and accumulation of gold and glory (perhpas God too?), I think perhaps concepts of time are all relative. Well, absolutely this is made apparent by the usage of the word "now" and it's meaning in reality. But what I am thinking of is the concept of history; Spain--Europe--has such a long, rich history, maybe it MAKES SENSE to speak of things in the recent future as being closer to the present...since that's what the past participle does...bring actions to the present. Maybe it makes sense that a country that has been around for centuries than the one I was born in, would reserve actions that took place a LONG time ago for using the past tenses. Instead of "I ate today," they would say, "I have eaten today." Maybe it also keeps things in perspective, the recent past vs the distant past. My paraguayo friends would say, "it was good, we played soccer today," whereas a Spaniard would say, "Me lo he pasado bien, he jugado el fútbol hoy." Even when comparing Spain to Latin American countries, Spain has existed for far longer. WEll the culture that is today Spain and the mix of cultures that is now Latin America (what has been born since the fall of the great indigenous civilizations).

The Subjunctive: Keeping Life in Perspective.

As I spend more and more time absorbing the spanish language here, this oh-so-scarey "bizarro" grammatical entity we call the subjunctive is not such an enemy anymore. Not only am I becomming more intuitive as to know when to use it or not, but I am starting to really like and admire it. It is used to express desires, wants, hopes....things that are not concrete, for sure going to happen. Now though native speakers do not "think" about when to "use" the subjunctive or "not to" I think they may be on to something. As a non-native speaker, when thinking of when I should conjugate this verb differently or wondering why the speaker just used the subjunctive, it keeps life in perspective. If I can differentiate when the subjunctive is appropriate or not, I can also keep in perspective what is reality and what may NOT happen. And if I can anticipate something MAY not happen, even though I HOPE it does, I can prepare myself not be as let down, for example. Or when I am speaking the subjunctive reminds me, just because I want this to happen, doesn't mean it will. It reminds us in general that you can't always get what you want. Life goes on and you gotta roll with the punches. It's a CONSTANT reminder of this simple truth. And when we learn to accept that we cannot control the world, we can adjust to whatever it throws to us better. (And WHEN we learn--subjunctive ;) ) When it became obvious to me how often the subjunctive is used in daily speech, I realized how much of our lives are undetermined thus far. We can work hard and hope...but ultimately we must take what life gives us, adapt and re-adapt. That keeps life exciting! So thank you subjunctive.

Just sittin here takin in the morning with my gladd of freshly squeezed natural orange juice with honey for the old throat. Sooo delicious =) Just before 9:30 and this ancient house full of my family and neighbors sleeps soundly. Se les pegaron las sábanas...but not I, feels better when I'm not laying down.

One of my last Sunday Paellas with the fam...should be a good one.

Alicia en el país de los maravillas

What a message! Go and determine your own destiny! "Why is everyone telling me who I am and who I'm not!?" Go decide for yourself and show 'em! What courage.

White Queen: Because when you step out to face that creature, you will step out on your own.

So true; I am facing that creature that is my future. You can't live for anyone else. You need to live with the decisions you make. At the end of the day, it's just you. I think Billy Joel said, "either way, you wake you with yourself.." Gotta make yourself happy. Define your own path, go in the direction of your goals. Live your life for YOU. And do so confidently

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler. -Henry David Thoreau

The Mad Hatter: [To Alice] You used to be much more "muchier." You've lost your muchness.

Found my new fave drink in Lagos: Latin Surfer ;)

Una corrida

I just literally ran into my intercambio at the river. Good ole paseo de colón. "Cómo estás? Un beso." Yes, still the beso greeting (and goodbye) while both of us are sweating in our work-out clothes. "Tienes pinta de buena corredora." Jeje :) Only a few minutes earlier, I was thinking how I need to get on the río guadalquivir antes de salir Sevilla.

I usually do not regret leaving the house when I do. You never know what you will encounter...anywhere in the world. "You are improving your spanish a lot," he told me (there's that confidence!) and then offered me the times of his am clases de piragüismo this weekend. I don't even remember all that I told him, just what was on my mind...which means I am becomming more comfortable with my spanish. And also that adrenaline from my run.

www.kayaksevilla.com ;)

I was ALL ready for this interview; tell them about ME. EN ESPAÑOL. I HAVE the job, I just have to tell them a little baout myself now: I am very enthusiatic and love jumping into new projects. At times, finishing them is difficult for me, but with the ambiance of the advanced students, I don't believe this will be a problem. I am very organized. Also I am independent and a leader, but at the same time, I have been part of teams for my whole life and understand the importance of being interdependent. I have been a member of sports teams and bands since elementary school and now I am a member of a community service team, the Bonner Service Leaders.

I love learning about other cultures and language is the key in understanding them better even better. I enjoy learning new things and with languages, there is ALWAYS more to learn. Always another word or phrase to look up. I will bring this passion I have for learning to the children this summer and make sure every moment is a learning moment. That is what I do here, so it will be natural!

I was soo ready to sell myself! Sin vergüenza. Start afresh. Be the Kendra I am with confidence. I have this job, let me tell you what I am going to do with it! A transformation. Not the timid, have-I-said-enough/the-right-thing-to-convinve-them yet? Speak when you want to...not shut up from nervousness! Your voice is worth it~your questions are valid! I think part of what helped me shed this mentality was the thought of interviewing in Spanish...I just gotta SAY IT. Don't wanna leave any doubt to the interviewer as to whetheror not I know the language, so I must be sure of myself also. Say what I know so far. Keep it up!

So I didn't get to say hardly any of this, and though the interview started in spanish, he requested I speak in english to answer the rest. A disappointment, but I didn't let it throw me off. I am just so on top of the world that he offered me the position. Next time. There will be PLENTY of more interviews in my life (ufortunately, hah)! And this experience should be really good for applying to be a Fullbright Scholar. That'll be una entrevista española for sure. I can do this! I can speak spanish...and I CAN get to know myself.

Middle-schoolers, not my preference. The WORST age...however I think I will love the atmosphere and it's my prime opportunity to continue speaking spanish this summer. Good news is groups of 8-10 girls. Activities more, but I won't be alone. I am going to be an authority figure there. They are JUST Middle-schoolers. I have been abroad. A ver. A chance to see if I REALLY like working with children or not. Gotta talk to Cat about being an RA and Cork about them middleschoolers.

I do know about myself that I prefer smaller groups of people in general, lo que sea. Maybe I do not have the "right" presonality to work with children, but there's only one way to find out.

Then Habitat with the Mexicans...then 2 spanish classes in the fall. Not to mention the latinoamerican telenovela I am going to buy when I return: El Cuerpo de Deseo. All my música española and the spanish tv channel I watched winter break. I plan to write to my family and friends here via carta and tuenti/facebook also.

Soooo haaappppyyyy =)

This one's for you Car!

Showering in hotels, most recently in Portugal with the luxury to spend as much time as I like, I find myself very bored. I still turn off the water to soap up and then rinse, like I do in Sevilla. I can't imagine staying in there for 15-30 minutes now! Only very rarely, if I were very dirty or sore/needed to relax. So I found myself standing in the shower thinking of big sisty..."I get BORED....I wash my hair and body and am like, now what!?" De verdad, "I'll be 3 minutes!" Sí, sí...no more groans now.

And Hunter green for you and Miss Molly Magnificant ;)

Madrugo esta mañana.

Placement test, Take two, 8:45AM. Same exam as my first day here. Not only did I find the questions easier, some second nature, I felt so much more comfortable answering the personal questions. More secure in my answers. About who I am and where I'm going. I went in and maintained my relaxed attitude throughout the exercise. A New Kendra =) I am prepared, I did my best and that's all I can do, no need to worry about nit-picky details and create more stress.

Qué será será

I AM proficient in spanish. I can speak the language. And understand rapidly spoken spanish. My reading comprehension is very high. So today, I practiced believing in myself. I spoke slowly, with conviction. I am starting to feel comfortable in my skin speaking spanish. Just say it...it is what it is. If they don't like what I have to say, that's not my problem...in whatever language.

Qué será será....

Good prep for my interview Friday, but more importantly my self-esteem

What I love about learning spanish is that language is the key to learning even more about a culture and why people act the way they do. So fascinating! Culture exists WITHIN the language, how the people ask for things, what they ask for. I LOVE exploring how human beings learn to live in different ways depending on their locations.

I have traveled to places where I don't know the language, and am still able to learn a LOT, but knowing the language opens up new doors to comprehend how the culture works. A really up-close-and-personal look.

Elizabeth and I found our own niche within the DiscoverSevilla trip to Lagos, Portugal. We explored the more secluded praias with gorgeous caves and rock formations and hiked the cliffs back to the estación de bomberos. We also enjoyed a traditional portuguese dinner with the group, I had a deliciously tender rumproast topped off with Iberian ham and incircled with patatas fritas swimming in "traditional portuguese" sauce and Elizabeth was very happy with her swordfish. Not bad...I think I could start making white fish a part of my diet...I am happy with the balance we create for ourselves this weekend, of hangin with the loud crowd of 500 and discovering the city and beaches tandem. Saturday morning, we camped out in a spot at Meia Praia and had the vast space to ourselves, and also found a public pool/bathhouse and rest to grab a bite at. Sunday, off to our private boat tour of the Grottos...we experienced first-hand how Portugal's economy is really about to fall...for 30 euros we got on the Atlantica with the friendly captain and hopsitable tour guide at our disposable. Anchored near the Ponta de Piedade for Zab to jump off the boat and swim for a bit and transfered to a dingy boat to get up close and enter the caves. The food in the rests and supermarkets was DIRT cheap too...didn't want to go back to Spain! Haha I got a thrill from reading and understanding Portuguese--Learning Spanish has made me so much more worldy, not just conscious of Spanish cultures. We also traveled to the End of The Earth with the group Saturday night, I guess that means we don't exist, hah. Cabo Sao Vicente was gorgeous, though the wind threatened to give us an even closer-up vies of the sides of the cliffs and the water. Ohh, the wind in Portugal--Ridiculous! Chilly Northern winds picked up a day before we arrived and lasted the weekend. Between that and the clouds lined up to block the sun, the weather was cooler than Sevilla during the week, ironically enough, but I still managed to get a bit of a base burn on Mayday.

I LOVE being able to 1 walk home from class in the city at night 2 wearing shorts and a tank top and feel comfortable. Summer and dinner have yet to come.

Did you know....

that the hiyab is prohibited by law in Turkey? The majority of the people I noticed in Istanbul were dressed in "Western" clothing, but a good percentage of the women wore the hiyab...and covered much more than the women in Morocco...some only revealing a slit for their eyes. It's interesting to see what an "Arabic" country will do to become "Europeanized." 'Cause Turkey sure is knocking on Europe's door saying let me in! And the women in Morocco choose themselves whether or not they wear the veil. However in some European countries, like France, wearing the veil is prohibited. And Europeans pride themselves in being democratic...Go to Morocco and you can choose....

It's moments like these, that I never want to leave España...or the University world. I am on such a high after talking to my profesora about my idea for my final essay. I felt that she understood my spanish (that it wasn't THAT bad), probably because I felt very comfortable speaking with her and noticed her patience and interest in my ideas. I am so happy to be here and be able to take advantage of studying subjects that are currently relevant to issues now in Spain and the world. Being able to give voices to those in Morocco who want to be heard so badly. That I can integrate all my classes and expereinces into one centralized investigation...of something I knew little about previously: Islam. There is something that really strikes home about learning about these themes while living in the heart of Spain, which derives a lot of its identity from the 800 years the Muslims were here. And about having friends in Morocco, learning through experiencing, and enriching my classroom academics with this REAL WORLD knowledge. And being supported by two wonderful profesores, so extremely opposite in personality and teaching style. Carmen and Diego! I have energy to dive into this 6-8 page essay in spanish now! Here I come!!!

En el autobús hoy, habían dos mujeres italianas quién hablaban mucho en voces altas. Me da mucha gracia. Spainards and Italians have a reputation for being the loudest in Europe, and touching and gesturing a lot. Today, I saw how the Italians are even louder than the Spainards. Sin vergüenza! These two women were clearly out of place but completely confortable being so. Incredible! Muy mona! An old Spanish man even covered one of the lady’s bus faire so she didn’t have to break a 20. Precioso. España les acogían bien esas mujeres.

Another day of passing the time sevillana style with the fam, sitting around the table after lunch chatting about aches and pains, fruit, beaches and traveling only to look up at the clock and realize hours have passed since we sat down to eat, better yet when we finished eating. Hay que ser flexible! I do have class in a bit and have some things to do beforehand, but I am happy to soak up the spanish and readjust my plans.

Ohh, and the heat today (and yesterday) is like an August day!

La Corrida de Toros

Por fin, La Corrida de Toros! Olé! Me parece una tradición muriendo en España. La mayoría de la gente son hombres viejos y turistas. Por eso, me alegre aprovechar la oportunidad. En Cataluña, ya quiere aprobar un ley para prohibir la corrida de toros. Hablé con un hombre anciano que trabaja en una ganadería—hasta la muerte! Su entrada era un regalo porque cinco de los siete toros eran de su ganadería en un pueblo afuera de Sevilla-Lara, dónde él nació. I wonder if that was the one I went to 4 years ago with my high school. Anyway, I was able to use a lot of common spoken phrases to communicate with him, which was exciting and gave me a confidence boost. Hay que comer! Though he creeped Kate out, to me he was a harmless old man who wanted to tell his story. Diez horas por día, él monta a caballos…pues es como segunda naturaleza. Muy, muy viejo, pero sigue trabajando…sacó una foto de nosotras y saltó de su asiento como si fuera joven. Algunos nunca crece viejo. J Despúes de charlar por un rato, dio cuenta que estaba en el asiento incorrecto. Eres guapa, me dijo antes de salir, jaja.

Me encanta el dedicación, pasión, adrenalina, paciencia, y arte de la corrida. Hay que ser flexible. Me gusta el idea, pero no sé si estoy de acuerdo con el acción. Los matadores tienen que entrenar tanto; no hay ningún sitio con grasa en sus cuerpos. Y es muy impresionante que pueden matar un toro. It reminds me del poder de la naturaleza y los toros, que grandes, altos, y fuertes son! Me parece cada toro que vino era más grande y agresivo. Era necesario que los humanos pensaran en una manera para poder dominar un toro. Necesitan muchas personas y una plaza especial para la corrida porque sin estos, el humano no es nada. A mí me admira los toros y cuantas ganas tiene de vivir. Sigue luchando y luchando, hasta la muerte. Yo quiero vivir como un toro muriendo…con tanta energía, pasión y ganas. Mi padre aquí me expliqué que habían siete toros porque el sexto no era tan agresiva. “La gente no quiere ver un toro que no ataca.” Vale. Y llegaron siete toros de otra raza con bells around their necks to herd him up. Lo que no me gusta es que los caballos sufran. No pedieron estar allí. El toro es el enfoque de la corrida, y el matador escogió ser matador, pero los caballos están empujando sobre las muras y gored by the bulls. Y no se ve nada. Qué tranquilos tienen que ser. Pobrecitos.

En una manera, la corrida de toros es un microcosmo de la sociedad española. Tanta tradición; pero eso tiene sentido que una cultura con tanta historia coge la tradición. Mucha gente sentado muy cerca en un espacio pequeño (concepto de espacio). Todo el mundo gritando, olé, venga, vamos, vale ya, coño, joder, bueno! Y discutiendo entre ustedes con suficiente shhhhes!! One man spoke to Kate in what I like to call, Spanish-English. “Give me my hat….please.” Very direct. There is no “Puedes darme mi sombrero?” “Dame mi sombrero,” is polite. Or “Déme mi sombrero.” Me hace mucha gracia. He knows how to speak english, but does not understand the culture that speaks it, and that ppl do not request for things in such a way. Los idiomas no existen en una caja. Los hombres llevando sombreros típicos. Y porque es el último día de la feria, habían una mujeres vestido en trajes de flamenca. Qué calor! Abanicos por todas partes…es práctica y lista, no es una tontería. Gracias a Dios un hombre me regaló un abanico porque llevaba un vestido pero sudaba tanto!

Aunque me duele la espalda por causa de sentando en el asiento de ladrillo por tres horas y pico, me lo pasé bien. Me encantan que los españoles sean tan amables. Una experiencia buena.

Quién pudiera estar en Sevilla en la primavera! Oh wait, I am! Me encantan las noches de la primavera. Tan tranquilas. Especialmente las primeras…cuando puedas ir afuera después de una cena tarde española y ser cómoda. The stillness of the night inspired me to put on some quiet jazz to paint my nails for the beaches if Portugal next weekend (Bordeaux—discovery thanks to Vicki, purchase thanks to Aunt Sue: goodbye mani-pedi) and relax in my room.
No tengo ganas de volver a los Estados Unidos, I LOVE living here in Spain, but I cannot wait to be able to control my own diet again. My stomach never adjusted to the Spanish food or way of eating it and have been in an incredible amount of pain lately. A lot at one time, quickly and hours and hours apart. I can’t wait to have the freedom to guiltlessly eat what I want, when I want and how I want. Sigh. Otra visita al médico el lunes.

"No te vas con tu capucha, te va a reír--la gente en la calle.."

Mi madre me hace mucha gracias :-)

Te quiero Magda

We don't realize how little we can live with, until we do it. It was an adjustment coming to Spain, showering for less time and in a different way etc, but still more of an adjustment to Morocco. Returning to Sevilla, I found so many things unnecessary, since I realize I can live without them now. Though I usually go equipped with toilet paper and hand sanitizer, I paid even closer attention to having these items on me in Morocco. Soon after, it became second nature. I stepped into my bathroom at my home in Sevilla and marveled at the luxury of it. I would not have described it as so before my trip. Though an occasional hair or sticky spot can be found in the sink, it now seemed to me a spa. Bathrooms in Morocco are not a fancy spot to relax and hang out...do your buisness in-and-out. After mastering the art of using a squat toilet, the Western toilet now seems so luxurious. I developed a routine in Morocco. I didn't realize how much I was thinking to do simple things until I returned. Using a bathroom here does not require a special consciousness. I expereinced a strange vacancy. I don't need this luxury! Should I have stayed longer living in such conditions, this mental strain would have turned into a comfortable habit.

Moroccan public schools teach Islam to children of all relgiions, but do not obligate them to pray. Moroccans are very proud of their attitude of tolerance. The largest Mosque in Tangier is across form the largest church. Very interesting...

Sobre la Marcha

Go with the flow

;)

Interesting

Today was the first day I had to adjust to the schedule of Spain. Every other day, I intended to sit around the table and talk with my family, as long as they stayed at the lunch table to chat. However today, I had a different idea of what I would do after lunch-shower, change, shop, research. But Cristina remained at the table. When I told her I was going to shower, she insisted I wait... or do so verryy carefully as to not disrupt my digestion. I stood up, but we continued to talk, on to the next thing, and the next thing... I felt a little frustrated a first (this wasnt my PLAN), but then realized, you are adjusting Kendra. To a culture different than your own, when you had not expected/intended to. Perhpas that is hte most important time to do so. It reminded me of what I love about the Spanish culture, that they value people and taking care of oneself....more than rushing around. Relájate, relájate! =) Another sunny day in Sevilla con mi hermana

La Semana Santa

I have a new appreciate for the nazarenos after being first line at a handful of processions this week. Thanks to Cristina, I got the inside scoop Wed night.

Went to the famous Madrugada el viernes santo, and had a GREAT spot on Calle Pureza (Thanks again, to Cristina, la mejor hermana española)

Un sitio muy bueno, gracias a mi hermana aquí, tiran pedales de rosas blancas desde el balcón, incienso llena el aire, la gente espera desde 22, canta, "Viiivvaa....La Esperaaaanzzaa de Triiiaaanaa!!!" un banda magnífico, más q 2000 nazarenos, y una joven con tanto entusiasmo tener las esampitas. "La Esperaaaaanzzzaaaa....guuapaaa," mucho más impresionante de los imagines. Una aventura hasta 4:30...

Being up close, you notice the subtle differences among those marching. They became more human to me, rather than lines of identical, caped, hooded figures. Most obviously, each Hermandad had their own colors, and the nazarenos who march before the Cristo are often different colors than those who march before the Virgen. It's so much more intimate seeing their eyes through the holes of their caps, their hands holding the giant candles each in a slightly different manner, the ay they carry themselves. But some march in their socks, still others barefoot. Many give out estampitas, each one different images of their Jesus and/or María figure that they buy themselves. As for La Esperanza, they dress in velvet and leave the church at 2:10, cold, cold, cold....and march until about 2 in the afternoon, in the heat of the 77 degree F sun today. It really is a sacrifice! Lots of practice, Such commitment! I think, in addition to appreciating the beauty of the pasos and music from the marching bands, many Spaniards come out to show their respect for the nazarenos. They do not seem hokey or silly nor strike me as eerie KKK look alikes any longer. And that's not even to mention the cuadrillos, 40 or so men who carrying the pasos...

La prensa mata

Chefchaouen "Look, peaks!" La ciudad azul en las montañas

There is something very compelling about the connection I was able to create with the storeowners here. We were united by a language that was foreign to both of us: Spanish. How beautiful! And thanks to the Sara and Jihane, who showed us the ropes in the Medina in Rabat, I felt confident bargaining in Chaouen the next day. They were so hospitable, inviting us into their stores, eager to tell us about all their products, even after making clear we were not going to buy anything. Still, they insisted to show us how to wear a turban or a gilabi for example. Time is not money in Morocco (Nor in Spain, which I LOVE). They seem very people/relationship-oriented, which is what the title to my blog refers. If the storeowner did not have the product you wanted, they would ask if you had time and run to another store to retrieve another style or model. As we were already late for meeting our group for dinner, (well, I suppose on-time for Morocco) I had to decline the offer, telling him, "tenemos prisa." He plopped down in his chair, sighing the phrase above I have come to realize is so true. Hurrying kills.

It seems the poorer places you go, the more real the people are... I am all for Morocco Exchange program and believe there should be one for EVERY developing country (Yes, ambitious, I know). More expensive than tourist trips, but so much more valuable than merely seeing pretty places and buying exotic souvenirs. An opportunity to interact with the culture. With MC, I learned a great deal about the culture(s) and just by being curious and willing to engage in dialogue, I felt I could give back to the country that welcomed me so warmly. They were so eager to talk and listen, exchange. In addition, I knew I was supporting them monetarily. I could see where my money was going. To support women who were learning skills to find jobs. To provide a safe learning environment for children of shanty towns to prevent acts of violence like the Casablanca bombings. Moroccans seem to take a special interest in service, since I imagine for many of them it hits close to home. So much poverty! Lifting up the cities is part of national pride. We can do this! Whereas in the U.S., service is something some ppl engage in and others choose not to make it a part of their lives. Very interesting rift.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -H.T. Whitman

My perspective of women wearing the veil in Morocco has changed with my new understanding. Three University-aged Moroccan girls shared lunch with us at the DARNA our first day in Tangier and the question came up, "Why do you not wear the veil, while you two do?" First of all, all women in Morocco have the choice; it is not an act of male suppression. Covering parts of the face is not a part of Islam either. This highly symbolic act sends the message, "Judge me by my thoughts and who I am, not my body." Along with wearing the veil, comes the commitment to dress in a conservative way, without bright colors, revealing garments or attractive clothing. And these young women articulated well-informed opinions eloquently in a language foreign to them. Very impressive! I never knew the significance, but now I have great respect for this custom. And even the girl who did not wear the veil, dressed just as conservatively as the others and sent the message that she wanted to be judged not by her body, but by her brains. All three possessed this impressive air of confidence and tolerance and I hope to build my confidence to be as comfortable with myself as they were. They were eager to engage in discussion and express themselves, but also understood the value of accepting others' opinions as well. I am looking fwd to getting their e-mails soon, since I have so many more questions for them.

Morocco

After returning to Spain from my 4 day adventure in Morocco, I am realizing so many things. My passions for learning Spanish are more about the thrill of being able to communicate with people from a different culture. Though I still want to improve my spanish skills, I don't think my goal is fluency, or fluency in the way I was thinking of it before. It's about breaking down barriers and connecting with people in different cultures. I learned a lot from my Moroccan family as my brother and I (and mt two new American roomies) struggled to find common words and gestures to express ourselves. His english was limited and my arabic (or Moroccan arabic, better yet) consisted of fewer words I can count on my hands and whatever he taught me. However attitudes, body language, gestures, and smiles go a long way. Language is a way to gain the confidence of those who welcome you in a foreign country. The Moroccans' eyes lit up and faces filled with joy as I thanked them--shokran, or attempted to repeat phrases I had learned. It shows I am willing to venture outside my comfort zone and try to express myself in a different way, with unfamiliar sounds and words.

I return to find I am experiencing a reverse culture shock, not knowing what to think of my resistance to Spain right now. I lack interest in Semana Santa and I am at the Mecca of these luxurious processions as I type. I had not anticipated this, only the biggies to return home in NY. Perhaps my trip to Morocco has helped move along the process of seeing Spain in a more objective, truthful light. I like this aspect, I don't like that, but this is Spain. Some of the things my family argue and whine about seem so minuscule compared to where I just came from. I guess it's all a matter of perspective though, and what one is experiencing. The ill-distribution of wealth is very sad though, especailly considering how warm and open the Moroccan people are. They deserve better. All the developing nations do. All humans beings. More to come (hopefully)... Shower now

ME VOY A ESTAMBUL EN ABRIL!!!!!! =)

ME VOY A MARRUECOS!!!

Mi horario

Mi horario para el periodo de la continuación:

MTW: 11-12 Geografía Regional de España a la Universidad

MW: 5:10-7:10 Crossroads: Spain & Immigration

Tues: 1-2 Cultural Realities of Spain

TTH: 5:10-7:10 Spanish Cinema

4-5 Regional Folk Dance

Mi Puesto de Voluntariado: La Guardería Jardín

W: 12:30-1:30 & Th: 11-2

ME ENCANTA LA VIDA

chungo!

Más pensamientos míos

Why are you a spanish major? Good question. I got some insight today though. Most spanish classes I have taken concentrate on expressing personal states, feelings and opinions, and that aspect makes me uncomfortable. What if I don't say the "right" answer? Why does anyone CARE anyway? Instead of freezing up and making up answers, expressing what I'm feeling in the classroom here is imperative so I can do the same at home. It's a safe space since we're all learning. Pero, lo mas importante es just being honest with myself, no matter where I am. What a challenge! And what a great way to practice then learning another language. In spanish, since I have to lace every word together, I only say what's most significant, what I'm truly feeling. That is a good habbit to get into and I hope to keep to it in english. What's at the core? No babbling.

I either need to write these in spanish or stop blogging (so much), because every night I am recollecting and recording the events of the day in english. And I need to stop thinking in english because that makes speaking spanish mas difícil. Es mucho mas facil para hablar el español cuando oigo mucho el idioma y continuo hablarlo constantamente. Ayer, daba un paseo por la Universidad de Sevilla, que magnifico, y probé un cafe Bailey's con Elisabeth anterior, aye que rico la crema! Hablaba con muchas personas nuevas de mi programa y me caen bien. Estoy muy animada para empezar y explorar la Universidad!

Tengo sueños ahora. Buenas noches

Que buen dia hoy! I noticed I was becomming very angry and sad during my morning class, and when I feel this overwhelmed, I can't listen well (english, and def not spanish). No me importa nada... After waking my mother (TY Mom!), crying and talking with her during my walk home, I was greeted by another mother. Que te paso? Digame...Soy tu madre Sevillana! I felt the support and love of a family today at lunch. Once I stopped thinking about all my personal goals and stressing about changing them (to the point of giving myself a headache), I was able to relax and have more patience with myself. I need to be flexible in allowing myself to adapt my goals as I go along, since when I made them, I was not living this. Poco a poco...mi senora me dijo. I feel really frustrated that I cannot understand everything my host family, teacher, or people in stores and restaurants say to me and that I cannot speak colloquially yet. I don't want to be rude and not know that I am being perceived that way. I know text book spanish...and grammar, not the things I need to know here. I spent a lot of time with Cristina and Ana today, and managed to do my tarea tambien. Sometimes when Cristina and I are talking, I forget that we are natives to two very different languages and almost blurt out an english phrase here and there. Our connection transcends languages-after all, all languages are incapable of expressing the amazing capacities of the human mind.

I am extremely happy I followed through with expressing myself to my family, regardless of my fears in knowing I am not capable of articulating these complexities clearly. Magdalena told me many stories of how girls come to her for advice and then they feel better...and in that moment, I felt so connected to everyone in the room, by the universal human experience of emotions. I felt most comfortable at today's lunch than any other meal with them, just allowing myself to be. Though I took my first authentic siesta today, estoy cansada. Buenas noches!

Today did not go how I planned, in the least. That did not make it bad by any measure however. I put my strict I-will-only-speak-spanish-rule I have been trying to embrace aside since one of my very good frineds was homesick. Absolutely more important. I learned a lot about her and myself. Initially, Spain found a way to bring us together and continues to bring us closer.

Aprender

I have been leanring so much from just relaxing, spending time and talking with my host family. I got to know Ana, Magdalena's granddaughter who lives with us, better today~I have a running and shopping buddy now. =) This weekend has reinforced my belief that the majority of the learning will occur outside the classroom. For this reason, I am going to sign up for a few classes that look interesting and useful, complete the work thoroughly and quickly, and spend a lot of time with my host family. No burrying my head in the books this semester! I am ready to start my intensive language class though, since I think some structure (and the perspective of the teachers) will help. Lo empiece manana.

El viernes, por la manana

I had an interesting experience during our walking tour through downtown Sevilla. I asked the profesor who was leading us if he knew anyone in Spain who is Christian, but not Catholic. I got a simple, No. Then, he added, Spain is 94% Catholic. There is a small amount of Muslims and an even smaller amount of Jews, he reiterated. Some Muslims, like her, he said, blatently raising an arm and pointing toward a black lady walking down the calle toward us, come from Africa (Morocco) and bring their religion. I was initially very surprised and felt uncomfortable at his obvious and seemingly rude gesture toward this stranger. The majority of the people in Spain are white Catholics, he reminded me. So my thoughts that there exist no Protestants in Spain were confirmed by this educated Sevillano. It was interesting to see his attitudes toward race.

So my mom just told me she was able to translate my last post into english, que bueno! Now, I will blog more often in spanish when the mood strikes me. There is only one word that came to mind throughout my first shower here yesterday: torture. Two or three minutes of steaming-hot-you-can't-stand-in-the-stream-water, then ice cold. Good thing yesterday was not a hair wash day. Today was much better though~Gracias a Dios!! I was able to warm up in the shower for quizas 4 minutes and clean myself after my morning run. Still very exhausted from traveling and also overstimulated with all this spanish, everywhere. It is a lot to absorb, but I am lovin it! Oh, and Gretchen, frolicking down the streets of Sevilla yesterday, I had that beautiful, I-love-my-life-and-everything-about-it-moment...well, in reality it lasted a few hours.

Ahora Esta en el cafe indias y estoy en la zona espanola...la zona wifi, claro que si!! Hable con mi familia todo el almuerzo y la siesta :-D I feel so lucky to have such a patient family~I am learning sooo much! I absolutely love Cristina, Magdalena's daughter, and am excited to see her apartment today...I can't wait to go out with her sometime! We communicate very well, though she does not speak english to me. Ayee, soo much, need a siesta ahora though. <3

Bienvenida a Sevilla

Day One en Sevilla...is that really all it is? I definitely feel more comfortable having roamed these streets once or twice before. After a safe and smooth, but terribly long day of traveling yesterday (aka the single day that is wed-thurs to me) today we explored. And met our host family, claro que si! Even though I spoke to Magdalena twice on the phone, I felt very nervous and overwhelmed at first, especially unpacking. Nothing more than random verbs and frustration came out of my mouth regardless of nine years of studying spanish, se me fue. Almuerzo, was my turning point. The meal was delicious and after my roommate and I gave gifts to our very appreciative, new family. They were so excited about the photo album I made for them, and I don't know where the cookies I baked with my mom have disappeared to since, but they were impressed that we baked them. I can handle this...Yeah! Magdalena tucked me in on the couch next to her while we watched an American dubbed movie. She explained details to me during the commercials and I felt the collaborative teaching/learning juices flowing:) Dinner was also delicious, meat and brocolli. Hasta manana.